Video Games and the Gifted Child

I stumbled out of bed this morning greeted by two bright-eyed and bushy-tailed boys, rearin' to get the day started.  They had already done all their chores and were playing happily with a chain of rubber bands, sharing with me Finn's latest trials on Adventure Time.  (cringe)  My eldest, nearing 9 years, announces to me "Be there no video games, be there no life."  I took this as a cue that he was ready for some gaming time.  It's 9am.



yet another attempt at a schedule

Popping in another dark blend K cup, I steel myself for the coming battle, "Okay Guys, let's get some learning done and then you can get to your video games."  Little PJ pipes up, "I already did my math, Mom! Three pages!" (seriously?) and the two of them start piping out with math problems.  PJ says "Mom, what's 15+15+15?" and I say "What do you think it is?" T says "45!" (I'm impressed because he really hated math for a long time.  I query "Wow, T, nice work!  How did you come up with the answer?" He replies, "Well, there are three 10s so that is 30 and then there are three 5s and that is 15 and you add them together."  I am smiling and thinking alrighty, we've definitely passed the 2nd grade. T spouts "See, I don't need to do math, I've got it down."  I reply, "But you're in 3rd grade and you need to master multiplication and division."  He smugly explains to me that multiplication is just addition and that "division is just multiplication backwards."  I am promptly put in my place.  I said, "So what you're telling me, boys, is that you are really quite ready for some gaming time."  Cheers and a one-hour window is assigned.

And this is a very happy house today.

I grabbed my cuppa and headed to the laptop.  I have to write this stuff down.  I've been struggled with the game/learning/life balance in this house, as I have written about before.  I think we found a pretty happy medium. A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a mama friend, who is starting out her unschool adventure with her two boys, ages 6 and 4.  She explained that she hasn't restricted their gaming at all, because she is confident that it will run it's course and they will move on to new learning adventures and desires.  I had to agree there is logic to that, but my boys and their ability to play for hours on end without reaching boredom, scares the wits out of me.  We know that the T Man has some issues with anxiety and finds his escapes in television and games.  That is where the free-for-all may not work for us.  But what I did get out of that conversation (and numerous others with dad and gifted-mom cohort/coach Amy Harrington) was that perhaps it is just too long of a day to wait for some games, and tossing in an hour during the day might work out well.  It has.  So instead of having to work all day to get to 4:00 pm game time, the boys now have an hour or so thrown in early in the day which seems to satisfy that eternal craving. 

 

Buffalo Mama just posted this week with similar concerns for her son, titled "But What If All The Kid Wants to Do is Play Video Games?"  She has nailed it.  Video games can become everything to our gifted anxious children, but life simply is not one big game.  Life is full of obligations, such as brushing your teeth and washing dishes (or maybe even knowing how to write a decent English sentence so as to not embarass yourself in your professional future). My kids have to earn their screen time, just like their dad has to go to work all day before he can come home to play with them, and just like I have to clean, prepare food, do laundry, etc before I can sit down and enjoy my Kindle.  While allowing kids to follow their passions is very important and we should feed those passions, we do have to be the Parent and teach them the self-control and life skills they are going to need in the real world.  It ain't always easy, but I know in the long run it will be worth it.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, excuse me while I go do some parenting... which will for the next hour or so may look a lot like doing school work.... ;-)