Video Games and the Gifted Child

I stumbled out of bed this morning greeted by two bright-eyed and bushy-tailed boys, rearin' to get the day started.  They had already done all their chores and were playing happily with a chain of rubber bands, sharing with me Finn's latest trials on Adventure Time.  (cringe)  My eldest, nearing 9 years, announces to me "Be there no video games, be there no life."  I took this as a cue that he was ready for some gaming time.  It's 9am.



yet another attempt at a schedule

Popping in another dark blend K cup, I steel myself for the coming battle, "Okay Guys, let's get some learning done and then you can get to your video games."  Little PJ pipes up, "I already did my math, Mom! Three pages!" (seriously?) and the two of them start piping out with math problems.  PJ says "Mom, what's 15+15+15?" and I say "What do you think it is?" T says "45!" (I'm impressed because he really hated math for a long time.  I query "Wow, T, nice work!  How did you come up with the answer?" He replies, "Well, there are three 10s so that is 30 and then there are three 5s and that is 15 and you add them together."  I am smiling and thinking alrighty, we've definitely passed the 2nd grade. T spouts "See, I don't need to do math, I've got it down."  I reply, "But you're in 3rd grade and you need to master multiplication and division."  He smugly explains to me that multiplication is just addition and that "division is just multiplication backwards."  I am promptly put in my place.  I said, "So what you're telling me, boys, is that you are really quite ready for some gaming time."  Cheers and a one-hour window is assigned.

And this is a very happy house today.

I grabbed my cuppa and headed to the laptop.  I have to write this stuff down.  I've been struggled with the game/learning/life balance in this house, as I have written about before.  I think we found a pretty happy medium. A couple of weeks ago I had dinner with a mama friend, who is starting out her unschool adventure with her two boys, ages 6 and 4.  She explained that she hasn't restricted their gaming at all, because she is confident that it will run it's course and they will move on to new learning adventures and desires.  I had to agree there is logic to that, but my boys and their ability to play for hours on end without reaching boredom, scares the wits out of me.  We know that the T Man has some issues with anxiety and finds his escapes in television and games.  That is where the free-for-all may not work for us.  But what I did get out of that conversation (and numerous others with dad and gifted-mom cohort/coach Amy Harrington) was that perhaps it is just too long of a day to wait for some games, and tossing in an hour during the day might work out well.  It has.  So instead of having to work all day to get to 4:00 pm game time, the boys now have an hour or so thrown in early in the day which seems to satisfy that eternal craving. 

 

Buffalo Mama just posted this week with similar concerns for her son, titled "But What If All The Kid Wants to Do is Play Video Games?"  She has nailed it.  Video games can become everything to our gifted anxious children, but life simply is not one big game.  Life is full of obligations, such as brushing your teeth and washing dishes (or maybe even knowing how to write a decent English sentence so as to not embarass yourself in your professional future). My kids have to earn their screen time, just like their dad has to go to work all day before he can come home to play with them, and just like I have to clean, prepare food, do laundry, etc before I can sit down and enjoy my Kindle.  While allowing kids to follow their passions is very important and we should feed those passions, we do have to be the Parent and teach them the self-control and life skills they are going to need in the real world.  It ain't always easy, but I know in the long run it will be worth it.

Now that I've gotten that off my chest, excuse me while I go do some parenting... which will for the next hour or so may look a lot like doing school work.... ;-)

Hitting a Low Note

It has been a while since I posted anything.  It's hard to feel inspired to write when you are just plain in-the-dumps.  Once I had a wonderful 2 weeks with the loving support of hubby at home, I finally pulled myself together and I'm shaking it off.  New Year, New Beginnings, and all that good stuff.

The Dumps

The T Man progressively became more anxious over the past couple of months, getting sick to his stomach going to a playdate and eventually even refusing to go to the park.  He almost skipped out on Halloween! ( Luckily he pulled it together and got some good trick-or-treating in.)  By the end of December, we were seeing a weekly occurrance of nausea and vomiting at night time before bed.  Hm... manipulation to stay up late or??  I began to get not only frustrated, but sort of hopeless. And then a teenager in Newtown, CT brought me a startling wake-up call: Would my son become this broken if I don't do something immediately to fix this??  By mid-December I yanked money out of my retirement account in order to finance the testing to figure out what is going on with my little boy.  That will not be my teenager!

Keep on Keeping On

Even with all of the drama of these months, the kids are relaxed and happy at home.  I can't even imagine how stressed our life would be if we attempted school this year.  Little PJ has made strides in his sensory issues these last couple of months: he began to wear jeans and even socks and underwear! He hasn't worn anything like that in well over a year!

Our learning continues, and as does our chasing of happiness. We've been spending a bit of time on our workbooks and they have both boycotted their online math program, Dreambox.  It's way too repetitive for them.  There's a wonderful line of books called "Math for the Gifted Student" by Flash Kids that I picked up at Barnes & Noble and it keeps math interesting and brain teasing  - perfect for my two curious boys!  T began to see the connection between multiplication and division and is just starting on fractions; PJ is starting to appreciate word problems and his reading skills have tripled in the last months.

We're still struggling with "screen time" and it's an overpowering impulse for these boys.  We have to earn it by doing chores and doing our learning time.  I just wish I didn't have PJ asking me for Xbox, PS3 and Wii games ten times per day!  It gets really old, really fast.  This weekend I compromised - as long as PJ read all the dialog, he can play My Sims Agent.  It's pretty fun watching him read all this stuff!

Television is T's addiction.  We recently upgraded our cable package so the Hubs and I could watch The Walking Dead. (I mean, who doesn't love Zombies?)  Well, along with our show, we were graced with Cartoon Network.  I could go off on a rant here, but will try my best to hold off.  Some of the shows are just plain stupid.  I do not want my kids watching this stuff, but my gosh they want it - badly!  Adventure Time and Annoying Orange are big annoyances, one for the content, the other for it's language.  Adventure Time is rated 10+ so that helps my argument on why they can't watch it.  The problem is that T is mentally about 13 years old.  He wants humor at that level.  He relates to Disney's "Austin & Ally" and "Jessie," but he isn't ready emotionally for most of these shows.  Le sigh.  Plus, anything he watches, little PJ watches too.  Double sigh.  When we next move, we will not be getting cable television at all.  That is my resolution. I hope hubby agrees.

The Recovery
Armed with several thousand retirement dollars, I have taken the first steps to recovering my son.  We saw an Allergist and T suffered through 65 pokes on his back to eliminate any food allergies that may be causing his nausea and vomiting.  The Allergist, an expert in his field, was extremely alarmed at the description of what we have been experiencing.  He referred us to a Pediatric Gastro-Intestinal Specialist and also to a Psychiatrist that he believes to be an expert in the field of anxious children.

We scheduled with the GI guy who turned out to be a very quirky guy himself.  He has an Asperger teenager, and was highly entertained by the T Man.  As we discussed our experiences and issues, T pipes up with, "What is this Asperger stuff?  What are we going to do, make a sandwich out of butts?"  The doctor and everyone just burst out laughing.  (That's life with my boys!)  The doctor explained that sometimes car sickness can indicate an ulcer and asked T if food ever felt stuck halfway down his chest.  He was scheduled for an Upper GI barium x-ray for the next week.  (that's a whole other post)  Long story short, he did not have an ulcer (thank God!) but does appear to have a viral infection in his stomach, causing swelling in the lining/folds of the stomach.  We started medicine twice a day last week and we are already seeing a more reasonable, happy child.  No vomiting since, but we haven't added any cause for anxiety to the mix since then.  We are crossing our fingers. 

In the meantime, we began to see a gifted-specialized Psychologist, www.drvula.com for therapy.  She began working with him just a couple of weeks ago and will be talking about her findings very soon.  He has enjoyed both of his sessions, as they are play-based.  Last week we began to map out his life in order to pinpoint what may be causing his fear and anxiety.

Looking Forward
I have contacted a Psychiatrist locally, as referred by the Allergist.  It turns out he is the resident doctor for a school that is just down the street from us, specializing in special needs kids like mine.  I am hoping he will do a full work-up/battery of tests and be able to determine the cause of T's school anxiety. 

PJ has been asking to go to school and since he has improved so much in the sensory stuff, I believe he will be ready by Fall.  By then we will probably have relocated, as the job in Los Angeles may be coming to an end for the Hubs.  Hopefully we will be in a place where there is a school that is affordable and understanding of quirky smart kids like mine.

I recently attended a talk by the esteemed Gifted Psychologist, David Palmer.  Aside from all of the reaffirming information I already knew about dealing with gifted kids, he gave us some really wonderful information that I wanted to share.  First, he said that K-12 online schools will allow children to work quickly through curriculum and finish years of study at their own pace.  This is something I plan on looking into for the Fall.  In addition, there is an Early Entrance Program at Cal State Los Angeles, where a kid can begin working on their Bachelor's degree as early as 11.  I guess I found this hopeful because right now we have little in terms of a learning Goal.  If we can get healthy and decide on a goal, we may have a more motivated child!

As a last minute deal, I was able to attend a parenting workshop by the author of "Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids" Dr. Laura Markham on Emotional Intelligence, or "EQ."   She outlined her strategies and tools to "Stop! Drop! (everything) and Breath when things get tough and emotional with your kids.  She gave us some "Power Tools" like Empathy, always make sure your child feels heard and understaood; Special Time, always have a bit of special time with them each day and Roughhousing, every single day should have a moment of physical play that will get their giggles out.  She explained that Laughter is the best cure for Anxiety.  That was an excellent take-away for me!

What really stuck with me was her parenting style definitions and where we fall on the "Strictness" line and the "Support" line and how kids are affected in the long term by our style. The Support line is how much you can support them (be there for them) emotionally and in other ways. She talked about how people that are in touch with their emotions are much more successful with life; and how marriages work better when people are emotionally intelligent.  I had to draw out the parenting chart so I can hang it on my bathroom mirror as a reminder. Plus I wanted to share it, as I think many parents could be interested ;-)

So our lives are currently filled with doctors, analysis and goals, with the hope that things will turn around not just for T, but for us all.  I am feeling hopeful and see a light at the end of that tunnel we were living in for the last couple of months. :)

Unschooling? Chasing happiness

Are we Unschooling? I really don't know. The way I understand it, Unschooling is about letting the child direct their learning, not making them do school work they don't want to; providing them the means to learn what they want to learn, when they want to.  It definitely takes away pressure and adds a lot of joy to our lives.  Our unschooling looks like this:

I've given up on "structure" in general. We have "learning time" in my bed, reading Life of Fred, doing MadLibs, and for my little guy, doing Language Arts from a "1st grade everything" kind of worksheet book. I don't force writing on PJ, but I compromise with "I'll write this sentence, you write the next." He does all right with that and seems very happy with an approximate hour per day of studies. He's only 6 and pretty brilliant, so I'm not too worried. Especially when Daddy comes home and goes to give them kisses and PJ pipes up with some comment about what comes at the end of Daddy's sentence. Or when he's adding 8+8+8 while driving to meet friends at the beach. Clearly we're learning.

I am wishing for more social time. We haven't had enough. This past week we were able to spend time with PJ's BFF, Henry and his sisters Keely and Sadie. I had to share this picture because they are just so freaking cute. They were winding down to a little Scooby Doo on a Friday afternoon.



"Essay" on Sea Monkeys

As for the T Man, age 8.5 and going on 14, trying to tell this little bugger anything is a challenge. He shut me up in the car the other day when I asked if he knew where the word "riviera" came from. He said "No, and I don't want to know. I'm just not interested in it." Well alrighty then. I think he's being a disrespectful brat, but then I guess he knows what he doesn't want to learn about. I just wish we had a better, clearer idea of what he does want to learn about so I could feed his thirst for knowledge. I'm pretty sure that he thinks he knows everything already: just like a bratty teenager. (sigh) The boy's reading and Science is middle-school level, he has an amazing grasp on History, his sense of humor and understanding of the world is outstanding. His math is coming along - Dreambox just moved him into pre-algebra, so he's definitely on the right track.

T will do a minimal amount of formal study time without a fuss: a couple of lessons on Dreambox, rapt attention to Life of Fred and MadLibs, and will occasionally do a paragraph of writing. Outside of this, he's doing what he wants. He reads voraciously, researches things on the web, and does any kind of web games he can find that are free. These past couple of weeks I rebuilt a couple of old desktop PCs for the boy's exclusive use. (T had already broken my laptop screen hinge and downloaded malware and I really need to make this laptop last for another 6 months or there's no Christmas gifts under the tree!)   So now they each have a PC that is fast enough to accommodate Dreambox, Ooka Island and whatever kind of malware or virus they wish to experiment with. I can easily wipe and reload.

Lately T has figured out how to download maps for Minecraft and load them, he has been downloading Google Chrome apps, and then he found Wizards 101 which has turned out to be fairly educational. The important part is that he become comfortable with the computer and confident installing software, learning the file system, and also researching fixes on the web. This is where the future is, barring zombie invasions or the loss of electricity ;-)

I'm feeling so much better, so much more confident that this new direction of less formal study is the way to go.

We are happier. Shouldn't we chase happiness? I am sure many agree that chasing A's is better... just maybe not for us. My loving
sister, Aunt Mimi, says "This is OUR TIME NOW."   She's right - we need to make the most of it. So... in case their is an outbreak, a Zombie invasion or the lights go out and all hell breaks loose on 12/12/12... we've certainly had a good time while it lasted. ha ha

So, what do you think? Should I be worried that what we're doing is enough for now? I'm just curious if I'm delusional... 

Week 3 and Off Track...or are we?

 This week we tackled Daddy's Birthday.  I give that a huge font and emphasis because this is Daddy's Special Day and we must make it super specials for him.  If he had his druthers he'd get the entire Month of September to celebrate, but since he's in Crunch Mode, had to settle for his Special Day as 24 hours.  To add insult to injury, his Special Day is September 11.
So we do our best to make it Big and Important regardless of that sad fact.  I gave the boys some butcher paper and asked them to make some wrapping paper for presents.  As you can see by this picture, it evolved into something much bigger and important:  a Happy Birthday Banner.  Minecraft-style.  Daddy was pretty darned impressed!

On a trip to our favorite store, Barnes & Noble, to find a treat for dad, the kids each wanted to pick out a book for themselves.  I think we already own Splat the Cat, so I asked PJ to read this one at the store, out loud to me.  This is PJ's reaction.  LMAO

Monday we did our usual studies and then spent the afternoon at the park with a lovely homeschooling family of 3 little boys.  The older boys tromped around the park in full discovery-mode, into the nooks and crannys of a dried "creek" and up to it's pond.  I looked at my fellow mama and told her I gave the TMan 10 minutes before he was up to his knees in that murky water.  20 minutes later he approached in sloshing tennis shoes.  Haha.  It's what boys do. Snakes and Snails and Puppy Dog Tails! 

After removing the offending pond fifth, the boys went after some climbing trees and and found a huge patch of mushrooms.  T explained the "gills" of the mushroom and disected it and named it's type.  (I still need to go look it up, but I'm looking forward to getting an iphone just for an app I heard about that does object recognition) I can't locate anything about it on the Web except back to 2009.  But gosh, I need it so I can take a picture of something and give it a name. 

Speaking of apps, look at this one!  It's Geocache Navigator and it's directly linked to the Geocaching.com website.  It's amaaahzing and I can't wait to use it.  
Wednesday we met up with our GHF friends, Amy, Liam and Sutton for a geocaching expedition at the South Coast Botanic Garden.  Mission: FAIL.  All 4 of the boys were either hot, bored or obsessing about Minecraft.  I stupidly left my phone (with previously mentioned awesome app) at home.  We are going try that again next Tuesday.  We went home and let the boys have some quiet play time.  Much more relaxing.. 

I had a wonderful Aha moment this week with little PJ.  He has been practicing writing the alphabet in a little Lakeshore Learning writing book.  For some reason, he wants to always start at the bottom of the line and move upwards, so I have sat down and review each letter, explaining to start at the top line and moved downwards, then add the other features of the letters.  While at the park the other day, he got too hot and decided to rest across my lap.  So I began to trace letters on his back.  He guessed every single letter correctly!  I am thinking this whole teaching thing might just be working out.

We had a playdate on Friday and got to go to their pool.  Many thanks to them, as it was 104 degrees in the harbor area of Los Angeles.  Holy Cow.  It must have been a record.  Before we could go outside, however, the boys had to be shown their friend's latest interest: www.coolmath-games.com  There are some excellent brain games on this website, perfect for 5-7 year olds.  PJ is positively obsessed now and has been playing since we got home yesterday.

With this summer heat, we are getting lots of bugs.  We had to pick bees and termites out of the pool yesterday.  We also got a strange little visitor that we couldn't identify.  I called over to T to have him check it out and see if he knew the name.  "Ah! It's a Weevil!" he exclaimed.  Having never seen a weevil in my life, I just didn't believe him and pulled up the trusty browser on my phone.  WHY did I question this kid?  It was a weevil.  When I asked him how he knew this, he credited "Ugly Bugs" one of the Horrible Science books.  Ah, it really IS working!

So I am okay today with a morning of cartoons and relaxation.  It's gonna be another hot one!  Next week we get to visit the San Bernardino Mountains with my sister.  We have planned some community gardening and a little history of the area.  Should be lots of fun.  And Educational.

2nd Week of "School"

First of all, why the heck am I calling this "school"?  I am beginning to realize that it's a bad word around here, a bad word I'm telling my kids to use.  Silly mom.

We started our week off on Labor Day Monday.  Dad had to work (no irony there) and so we decided to be couch potatoes.  Mr. T parked himself on the coach with my laptop and proceeded to spend the day studying his favorite topic:  Minecraft.  He had discovered a nice guy named Paul Soares, Jr., a dad of boys who is quite funny and clearly gifted, and who does some very nice tutorials on youtube aimed at the child audience.  Am I a big fan of the game?  Not so much.  But since my son is studying it with the voraciousness of a groupie to a rock band, who am I to complain?  The fact that my son was finding an actual goal within the game helps me to cope with it.

In the meantime, I discovered that Rovio, famed game designers of Angry Birds, has a new release called "Amazing Alex" a ""whiz kid who turns everything into adventure. From cleaning his room to battling cardboard robots in his backyard.  Alex creates amazing chain reactions..." another awesome physics game to challenge my little PJ's puzzle brain.  This gave me time to look at our Moving Beyond the Page and make a strategy, as well as investigate some new history books to order.  T Man loves his history.

Tuesday started off with nightmare battles trying for some cooperation to do some school work.  (There's that WORD AGAIN, Mom!)  After the usual threat of zero gaming, things turned around.  T wrote out our grocery list, emptied the dishwasher and offered to join PJ for a game of Scrabble.  PJ and I had worked our way through the day with Life of Fred, Boggle, Dreambox and were just pulling down the box for Scrabble.  I decided to give them each 10 tiles and we actually finished a game, the boys nearly the same score of 140 and 144.  PJ beat his big brother.  I, of course, found the word FOUNDER on my tile holder and was able to play FLOUNDER for a 50 point bonus, but they didn't seem to mind ;-)

Wednesday was much nicer and we moved through our day with wonderful cooperation, working on our Map of the Community, doing some Ooka Island and reading Horrible Histories.  At one point the house was too quiet and I found these two taking over Life of Fred and finishing the first book.  I'm feeling a little bit of a loss over that; I wanted to see how it ended!  :)

Liam and T tutor each other on Minecraft

Thursday featured a playdate and nature hike to Temescal Canyon with our gifted homeschooling friends.  It's always such a treat to be with this crew because they are as funny, interesting and quirky as us.  We hung out at their house on the Westside for a bit and the little ones played board games and the big ones played Lego Hero Factory and then tutored each other on Minecraft.

Our trip to the Canyon was a lot of fun.  The weather couldn't get any more beautiful and the kids couldn't be a better match.  The boys separated off in their little teams and explored the creek and ravines. 

We moms watched, amused to see how well the kids got along.  Little Sutton just turned 4 but is a great intellectual peer for little PJ, almost 6.  That is one of those funky "gifted" things that people have a hard time understanding.  T could go play Scrabble with a couple of college students, but don't put him in a classroom with twenty average 8-year-olds, because he just can't relate.  

On the other hand, put this kid in a giant play structure with a bunch of 4 and 5 year-olds during the week and he's having an absolute blast. Go figure. 

Friday we met up with another gifted friend just to let the boys run and play.  Kid's Concepts in Torrance isn't cheap, but it was just the kind of physical outlet these boys needed.

It's now Friday at the end of the day and T is waiting for the use of the laptop.  While he's waiting, he's sprawled out on my bed reading the 8th book in the Life of Fred series.  The kid just slurped up the other 7 books since Tuesday.  Sheesh, I really need to pay my library fines and get back over there... ;-) 

If you want to read more about our friends Liam and Sutton, you can find them on Amy's blog, A Voracious Mind.

  

Back to School Angst and a Food Revolution

Okay, I admit it: I have a little of that Back To School Angst everyone on the Gifted Homeschoolers Forum is talking about.  It was about a week ago; a very, very long thread dedicated to feeling kind of sad, kind of like you are missing out on something now that school has started.  At the time, I mostly shook my head because I was happy to not be returning to LAUSD on August 14th and as I heard the local school bell ring from my desk, I was relieved to know my kids wouldn’t be going back to that.  I mean, WHY would you miss something that was so terrible for your kids?

Today all my Seattle and Torrance friends started back to school, 1200 miles apart, but sharing the same experience.  Facebook is filled with darling photos with smiling children and notes of what grade they are beginning, I’ve watched them grow taller over the years.  There would be no “back to school” photo with backpack in our photo albums, no formal class picture, no spring picture to compare to the fall.  We are no longer part of that community.  Today I felt the loss.

Today was also my presentation for the local MOMS Club Chapter about bagged lunches versus school lunches.  My goal was to tell them about my experience with school lunches and to try to inspire them to pack a healthy option for the little ones entering elementary school.



I was brought back to three years ago, where T was dropped off at the local school for his first public school experience.  It took me a couple of months to get situated, to get into a preschool program for PJ and then be able to volunteer in his class.  On my big volunteer day sometime in January, I walked with the kids out to the “cafeteria” to find a service window with a lunch lady handing out plastic wrapped lunches in brown paper baskets.  All the food was brown.  Brown potato “smiles,” brown breaded chicken breast on a whole wheat bun and a brown ice-cream looking thing called “Chocolate Launch! Frozen Whey Protein.”  No fruit, no veggies.  I later discovered that “ketchup” and the potatoes covered that food group.


LAUSD 2011 lunch of "Sweet & Sour"

 Along with this discovery was the milk choice.  Strawberry, Chocolate or plain in a “bladder” bag (not pictured here) the Kindergartners were required to puncture with a straw in order to drink.  The strawberry milk covered the chicken sandwich of T’s classmate, who shrugged helplessly, probably grateful to get that free meal.

I. Was. Mortified.  All the literature from “Café LA” and their website advertised “healthy meals” for our children.  I bought it hook line and sinker.  These meals were positively disgusting and I had trusted that the second largest school district in the country had my back, my kid's best interest in mind.  Grrr.

I packed lunches after that.  I did "bento" style using Laptop Lunches.  I became an expert and an activist.

 

In Spring of last year I was contacted by Jamie Oliver's people about the Food Revolution coming to LA.  I had signed up as an activist on his website after watching the 2010 television series where 1st graders couldn't identify the name for a tomato.  I began to work with the grassroots team to tell LAUSD that this kind of meal is unacceptable.  Flavored milk was unnecessary.  I attended a rally to ban flavored milk, attended the filming of a demonstration of how much sugar the kids in LA drink in a week of flavored milk, met with Jamie and his team, interviewed for magazines and the nightly news, met with the food services director and the deputy-whats-his-name right hand guy to the Superintendent. It amazed me that we could affect change so quickly, but then that's what you get when you have a celebrity backing the effort.  Thanks Jamie!  We got the flavored milk removed.  The menu was changed as planned.  John Deasy promised late night entertainer Jimmy Kimmel he promised to see this through. 

 

The bigger fish to fry is really the USDA who thinks it's okay to call "ketchup" a tomato, but these things are coming clearer every day.

But the point is, it was a fight.  Everything within a school district is a bureaucracy and even a simple thing like getting a healthy square meal for a kid is a freaking fight.  Can you see where these thoughts were headed?
 
And so, my successful talk concluded, I headed home to my boys who were hanging with their favorite sitter.  I was greeted with relaxed smiles and they reported they did some math and played Uno.  Happy Kids. 

I found this magnet on my refrigerator last week.  It's the 1st Grade School Picture for the Fall of 2010.  This is my little T Man and it was very clear that he wasn't happy.

So angst-schmangst.  I know it's all good.  Even if I need to sit here and spill the beans to you to make myself feel justified.  I know you know, and I know you support me.  I'm feeling pretty grateful.  Thanks for that.

My Little Blond & Blue...gifted Intensities

My dear friend Claudia requested to hear more about little PJ.  Well, to begin with, he is super cute.  I don't mean just his appearance - granted he does have twinkly blue eyes, a dimple when he smiles and soft, luscious blond hair.  I've been told more than once that he's a "mini Brad Pitt."  He's not just cute outside, but inside as well - funny and playful and sweet as can be.

Proudly displaying Minecraft pick axe (note his attire)

I was told just a few weeks ago that PJ has a gift.  This enlightening comment came from an Indian woman who was enjoying the hotel pool in Las Vegas.  She was in her mid-fifties with kind eyes and a nice smile.  She sat in the shallow end of the pool, tossing the small water ball back and forth between PJ and another lady.  When I approached her to thank her for playing with my gregarious little son, she smiled and laughed and told me something like this: 


"Your son has a gift.  I know this because he reminds me so much of my daughter.  He came to me and my sister and asked if we would play with him.  I explained to him that I am here to relax, that I did not want to play.  He wouldn't take no for an answer.  He directed me and my sister on where to sit and began to toss the ball back and forth.  To be able to convince people to do what you want them to do, that is the gift.  My daughter is just 22 and has just bought her first home.  This is a gift, and you should be very proud."

Well, that is a gift for sure.  It's just that when I say "No" to him, you'd think I'd just whipped the kid.  Woah, Nelly - watch out!  We spend a lot of time working through the "no and why" but to see this kid have a tantrum, you'd think him the most spoiled child on earth!

In Kindergarten, PJ decided that he didn't like any of his clothes.  The tags itch him, the waist is too tight, the arms are too tight, the pockets too scratchy.  The shoes are too tight, too scratchy, too whatever.  This boy wore the same loose pants and shirt and Target brand girls faux-fur lined boots for about 4 months.  He now favors a pair of Gap cut-off sweat shorts and Crocs.  He hasn't worn socks or underwear in a year.  He is naked at every opportunity.

He has what the gifted community call "intensities."

Kazimierz Dabrowski ( (1902-1980) coined the phrase "Overexcitability" to describe the intensity, sensitivity and tendency toward emotional extremes in the gifted population.  PJ has what he would call Sensual and Emotional Overexcitabilities (2 of the 5 he has defined).  An overexcitability is described as that "which is a great capacity to be stimulated by and respond to external and internal stimuli.  Overexcitability permeates a gifted person's existence.  Whether it's music, language, physical sensing, kinesthetic activity, imagination, or something intellectual, an overexcitability orients and focuses them.  Overexcitability gives energy to their intelligence and talents.  It shapes their personality development.  Like a plant turns toward light, overexcitability draws out a gifted person's thoughts and behaviors.  An overexcitability is a temperamental disposition toward a class of stimuli that the gifted person notices and responds to.  It is a lens that opens, widens and deepens their perspective." ("Living with Intensity" by Daniels and Piechowski) 

I call it a royal pain in the butt. 

PJ and new Berkeley college friends at the park

We do our best to work around these intensities and try not to make them a big deal. Each day we talk about our emotions, think on our options on how we could best respond, etc.  We have given up on fighting for clothing while at home, so don't be surprised to find a naked boy playing Legos on the living room floor.  But if we have a fit about getting clothed for an outing, it is possible that we will not be leaving the house (this is a most effective tactic! :)  Most often, he consents to some item of clothing, though in the end, he may look a little like a beggar.

Regardless of the issues, my little one's gift serves him well.  He is always finding new friends to play with, where ever we go.  He is a happy, charismatic child and loved by all. 

I did mention in my previous blog that my children were not simple or easy. This is part of that.  I am waiting patiently to see how these overexcitabilities play into little PJ's talent. In the meantime, we take one moment at a time, one day at a time...

Moving Beyond the Page - Getting Started

I just started to review the first lessons of this curriculum, designed for homeschooled gifted kids.  The first Unit is Communities Around the World.

So far, I see we need the following resources (among a huge list of other things I already have):

• Spelling/Vocab Journals for each of the boys
• A Globe
• Poster Boards
• Books on Holidays and other Countries, specifically Canada, China and Mexico

The lesson surrounds three books sent with the curriculum:  Hungry Planet, If you Give a Pig a Pancake and The Little House.

Vocabulary Words include:
Rural
Urban
goods
service
need
want
money
research
natural resource
human resource
history
vote
consequence
law
rule
authority

Wow, okay, those are GOOD.  I'm on board.

ACTIVITY 1
The first lesson is to ask the children what a community is and to describe theirs.  Places in the Community and has a worksheet where they label a building and then write a sentence. I will need to copy these worksheets.

ACTIVITY 2
The next is to Read aloud, a story in the workbook "The City Mouse and the Country Mouse"  I will also have T read it aloud, discuss the story with questions from parent guide

ACTIVITY 3
Fold a piece of paper in half vertically and label columns Rural and Urban and ask kids to list advantages of living in Country or City. Using worksheet from activity book, have them write three sentences about the place they would rather live.  Cover Nouns and verbs in sentences, having them circle the noun and underline the related verb.

ACTIVITY 4
Discuss Maps and review worksheet from book that has a map of the community, reading and locating labels on he map.  Review map key, show them scale. Use a ruler to measure distances.

That concludes DAY 1.  I'm looking forward to getting started.  Now if only I had a high speed copier instead of my little photosmart :-)

Curriculum Complete...or is it?

I've spent the last month collecting what I think will appropriately feed my children's minds for the next school year.  The plan is to have a loose curriculum and a flexible schedule; to set some goals and meet them, instead of trying to force the poor things into doing worksheets so we have something to show our Education Specialist at the Charter.  That was just too much pressure and we all were miserable with it!  This year we're going free form and filing a Private School Affidavit.  Yay! 

So here's what I've collected, I hope it works.  And if it doesn't, I'm not going to stress about it, but just roll with some changes. :-)

Mom's Classroom Curriculum Corner

Language Arts

• Moving Beyond the Page ("MBtP), Ages 6-8
• Ooka Island reading online (just for P)
• Grammaropolis online

Math

• Life of Fred, Elementary Series
• Beast Academy (3rd grade)
• Murderous Math
• Basher's Science - Algebra and Geometry
• MBtP

Social Studies:

• The Story of the World, 4 book set and Activity Book
• Chester Comix - American History, complete set
• Horrible Histories - Western Civ, complete set
• MBtP

 Science:

• Basher Science Set, Chemistry, Physics and Biology
• Horrible Science Box Set
• MBtP
• The Elements and Element Vault

Art:

• Game Design with Dad
• Studying the Masters with Mom

Music:

• Guitar Lesson for T
• Piano Lessons for P

PE:

• Golf Lessons
• Park Play
• Jump Rope/Yoga with Mom

Life Skills:

• Cooking
• Dishes
• Laundry

Social: 

• Playdates
• Field Trips with friends

Field Trips:
Griffith Observatory, Science Centers, Yosemite, Redwoods, Geocaching